For private parties, usually these play parties are "on invitation only" and the organizer of this party will invite "the good crowd".
The possibility for a male sub ad to be answered by a female Dom is almost nil.
Male subs have to answer a lot of ads to get a reply.
Now, let's see how a logical search for a P/partner goes; The goal of this search is to get a discussion going between the prospect partner and Y/you. But remember usually the L/ladies just have to wait for an answer to their ads while M/men have to do the initial contact.
From there, Y/you may have a chance to have something that will go further with this P/partner that has Y/your interest. To put an ad, it is usually free, but to be able to answer an ad, Y/you have to pay. Sometimes a L/lady will answer an ad but this is NOT the usual.
- Chat rooms: Many, many people play in cyber on chat rooms.
Nothing wrong with that, but many people, men and women, are not ready to do the real thing.Again, remember that L/ladies will be overwhelmed by the number of answers to T/their ads while M/men will be waiting to a reply to T/their ads. These gatherings are usually in the form of a munch where P/people in the BDSM lifestyle meet in a non-threatening situation.Usually there is no dress code and these meetings are oriented so P/people can talk and exchange views on the lifestyle.Take Y/your time and get to know this male P/partner that Y/you are interested in.There is no rush, YOU set the pace even if you are a sub.To fight this problem, you must show that possible female Dom that you are serious by being constant in your communication and very patient.