At what point in one’s life does he/she become labeled as an abuser?
How many incidences of “being abusive” does it take?
This disastrous assumption flies in the face of the Law of Blame.
What puts the label of “abuser” on a person is repetitive abusive behavior.
He/she may have no concept that what they are saying (or doing) could hurt someone. He/she often grows up thinking abusive behavior is normal, seeing it demonstrated by authority figures in his/her presence.
It happens when we "talk before we think." It's that first thought that often comes flying out of our mouth.
As my dad used to tell me, "Make sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth in gear." When we "flap our lips" before we've thought about what is coming out of our mouth, we are in danger of saying abusive words.
Very Early Warning Sign #1: A Blamer Avoid anyone who blames his negative feelings and bad luck on someone else.
Special care is necessary here, as blamers can be really seductive in dating.
The following is a list of qualities to look for in a potential lover. Note: During the early stages of your relationship, your partner is not likely to do any of these things to you.
But witnessing these attitudes and behaviors toward others is a sure sign that they will turn onto you, sooner or later.
However, not everyone who exhibits abusive behavior is an abuser.
is words, actions, reactions, and body language that attacks, demeans, minimizes, berates, belittles, etc. In layman’s terms, it’s plain old “being mean.” This is where bullying begins.
Blamers will certainly cause pain for you if you come to love one.