You don't say how old either of you are, but maybe he's just not at a point in his life where he's ready to come out to everyone.
Those who are "in" are often stigmatized as living false, unhappy lives.
However, though many people would prefer to be “out” of the closet, there are numerous social, economic, familial, and personal repercussions that lead to them remaining, whether consciously or unconsciously, “in” the closet.
What kind of healthy relationship can you have if you can't talk freely or go places together? The other thing is, this guy put your life at risk by not telling you he's HIV positive. It must be so difficult to tell people, especially people you care about, that you're HIV positive, and I get that, but STILL.
I don't think him not telling you is something to just dismiss. I'm still in the closet so I sympathize with that, but eventually I plan on coming out so I won't have to hide anything.
Scholar Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, author of The Epistemology of the Closet, discusses the difficulty with the closet: “the deadly elasticity of heterosexist presumption means that, like Wendy in Peter Pan, people find new walls springing up around them :even as they drowse: every encounter with a new classful of students, to say nothing of a new boss, social worker, loan officer, landlord, :doctor, erects new closets.” Recent attention to bullying of LGBTQ youth and teens in the United States gives an indication that many youth and teens remain closeted throughout their educational years and beyond for fear of disapproval from parents, friends, teachers, and community members.
To remain in the closet offers an individual a layer of protection against ridicule and bullying.It can also be used to describe anyone who is hiding part of their identity because of social pressure.In late 20th-century America, the closet had become a central metaphor for grasping the history and social dynamics of gay life.The decision to come out or remain in the closet is considered a deeply personal one, and outing remains controversial in today’s culture.In the 21st century, the related concept of a "glass closet" emerged in LGBT discourse.I was afraid of both turning around and being dismissed and afraid of putting him in a weird situation. My main concern is that we dont spend much time together so i asked for more "communication" (phone) he has worked at it, but its not great.