Once you "meet" someone online, it's easy, says Dr.
Kirschner, to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.
Contemplating the dating scene, many divorced women feel not just garden-variety nerves, but "actual terror," says Dr. Just remember that your fears are normal—after all, you are dealing with or have dealt with a major betrayal and upheaval—and that you don't have to jump all the way in. Tell a few trusted friends that you're interested in meeting people. "Sit down and craft a statement of what, exactly, you're after. If you feel the same way, she offers this advice: "I suggest you try to reframe it as an adventure, or as an education," she says.
For a couple of reasons: First, you are not putting all your eggs—or hopes—into one basket.
Second, you can compare what you like and don't like.
The New York City divorce attorney and mediator is both a divorcee and a child of divorce herself.
Her parents split when she was 12 years old.“It was the worst thing that ever happened to me,” said Ziegler, an only child.
Maybe one guy is very funny, but you enjoy another man's intellectual stimulation.
"You can see what you might want in a relationship going forward," she says, even if it's not with any of these guys. "Just say, 'I'm enjoying dating you, but I want you to know that for now I'm also seeing others casually.'"Hopefully it's obvious to you that if you have children at home, you shouldn't bring dates around unless it's somewhat serious.
"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual—or real.
Of course, when you do meet, take basic safety precautions.
"Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.
Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline.
“I was burdened with deciding my custody on my own in court. It became clear to me that I had to become a divorce attorney, that it was my plight in life to help people impacted by divorce, especially children.”Related: 6 Guidelines for Helping Your Business Survive a Divorce Now, as divorce rates skyrocket at an all-time high and three decades after her parents’ devastating split, Ziegler has just launched a dating app called Divorce Dating.