Disillusioned with dating

There's nothing intrinsically wrong with hooking up. I just don't think women are happy." It's an age-old problem, Pinsky tells Web MD.

College-age men are looking for sex only -- "that's their predominant preoccupation.

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To today's college students, it's booty call, hooking up, or friends with benefits.

But a new study shows that no-commitment sex -- although rampant on college campuses -- still leaves women in their 20s feeling disillusioned.

"The mantra of the sexual revolution was that women can be just like men," says Kate Kennedy, a spokeswoman for the Independent Women's Forum, the study's sponsor.

That translates today into what's known as hooking up or friends with benefits: "a guy and girl getting together for some form of physical encounter, ranging from kissing to having sex, with no expectations of anything further," she tells Web MD.

And there's the presence of alcohol that loosens the inhibitions.

People are out in groups at bars, at fraternity parties, and pairing occurs. I was taken aback by how superficial it all was, at how intimate the actions were, yet it still remained on a superficial level," she tells Web MD.

Several of the girls had recently broken up with their boyfriends. Only the ones who’d been married a long time were happy in their relationships. So says the CEO of e Harmony: “One of the things we’ve learned is that people in their 20s and 30s who have income are very happy to spend more in the search for a more enduring relationship…When you’re in the 40s and 50s that changes. They are interested in companionship but not marriage.” But, if you’re reading this blog, you probably already know that. e CEO adds that older singles are reluctant to pay the monthly fee to use e Harmony. They find some middle-aged men to be clingy, wanting to spend more than a couple nights a week together or expecting ultimately to live together.

You can see the impact of relationships that don’t work out. If they don’t think they’re going to find love, why pay for a losing proposition. We want to be independent people who meet at intervals to share experiences.

In reality, "women are losing out," she tells Web MD.

"Women can act like men, but women don't react like men." MTV relationship expert Drew Pinsky, MD, concurs.

"They thought they had a deal: you're a friend, we had sex. Some couples do pair off: they call it "joined at the hip." But that's rare, she says. "We're not here to prescribe any moral solutions but to draw attention to it," says Kennedy.


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