Brodie: It’s impossible, Lois could never have Superman’s baby. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth’s yellow sun. Brodie: The food court is downstairs, the cookie stand is upstairs it’s not like we’re talking quantum physics here! S.: The cookie stand counts as an eatery, the eatery is part of the food court. Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs qualify as food court, anything outside of said designated square is considered an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking.
His daughter, 11-month-old Logan Lee, is clearly the apple of his eye.
‘I dont want to say being a parent has changed me,’ he said, ‘but my life has changed in the sense that everything’s about the baby for me. When I used to travel I’d want to go out three days earlier than when work started but now I’ve got to leave at the very last minute and come back soon because I’ve got to be with the baby.’ And it seems this protective streak extends to his career – most notably the Kevin Smith films in which he rose to fame as foul-mouthed, blunt-smoking, sex-obsessed Jay.
‘I don’t know if I’ll ever sit down and show her the movies,’ he says ‘I mean we talk about snowballing and all that.’ ‘If she’s 18 and she’s interested she can see the films but I definitely wouldn’t watch them with her.
‘At any age I don’t want to – among other things she’d see me butt naked.’ It’s also no secret how close to home Mewes was to his character back when Smith’s first film, Clerks, was created.
@Jordan Monsanto, @Jay Mewes & their brand new, mint-out-of-the-box baby girl, Logan!
Brodie (Jason Lee): One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his rear. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he’s buying another cat! You know you’re just gonna get this cat stuck in your rear too, why don’t you knock it off?
I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. Do you think it’s strong enough to carry his child? Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. On your birthday, when you asked me to do a striptease to the theme from “Mighty Mouse,” I said okay. Brodie: Man, there’s not a year goes by, not a year, that I don’t read about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could have been easily avoided had some parent, I don’t care which one, but some parent, conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator! That is the cheesiest response to an honest question I’ve ever heard. Host: Suitor number 2, you have to wait until you’re addressed before you respond. I don’t know who he was, but he seemed unimpressed.
Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Renee (Shannen Doherty): Brodie, I have always taken you with a grain of salt. I this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with?
Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.
Brodie: Shit, that was the only part of the letter I thought was complimentary.
Brodie: Let me ask you something, did you ever fart in front of her? Then last week, I let one slip, today she dumps me.