Once the producers began conducting research for the show–including interviews with more than one hundred women–they kept hearing the name Joanne Fleisher.
Fleisher has a popular website, Lavender Visions, which serves as a resource for women questioning their sexuality.
Fleisher, who had not seen that show, felt strongly that it was important for her to go so that she might reach isolated women viewers who may be unaware of the resources available to them. In 1979, while living with her husband of twelve years and their two children in the suburbs, her world changed when she found herself in love with another woman.
About four months after she left her husband, when she was 34, she met the woman who would become her long-term partner.
Fleisher's daughters were seven and nine at the time.
On the other hand, the despair of my most difficult life crisis -- the decision to leave my husband of 12 years for another woman -- changed my life forever, and I couldn't have done it without some very powerful and sustaining resolutions.
It was 1979, the year that Donna Summer topped the charts with "Hot Stuff," and I had fallen in love with a close female friend, had an extramarital affair, lied about it and broken my marriage vows. I discovered that I was capable of behaviors that were "not me." For the 12 years of my marriage, I had feared that there was something broken in me, that I was unable to fall in love, and now that was suddenly open to question. After all, I couldn't be a lesbian -- I was married to a man.
I was overwhelmed with guilt about deceiving and hurting the man I had grown up with since I was 13 years old, had married, and with whom I had raised our two daughters.
While we had the usual relationship problems of any marriage, he was loving (in his own way), a good provider and a kind, loyal husband.In late 2005, Joanne published her book producer asking for assistance in finding married women who are lesbians.Fleisher explained that they would have difficulty finding women currently married to men who would be willing to appear on TV if they're in the middle of figuring out their sexuality.We had been the iconic lesbian couple: an artist and a writer – teachers and activists. I had been deeply invested in my identity as a lesbian and in my identity as half of a loving, perfect partnership.After having been – as my mother put it – "boy crazy" in my teens and twenties, falling in love with a woman in my early thirties had been a revelation. Although this time, it wasn't for a divorce honeymoon but to marry this man – surrounded by our friends.It didn't work and it ended for all sorts of reasons. I couldn't eat or sleep, haunted by the thoughts going through my mind. It took me a few months of darkness and hours of therapy to see how being torn to the ground – as painful as it was – presented me with an opportunity to rebuild.women in the past. Still, it was exciting to be doing something totally different. I felt growing in me a kind of tenderness toward the world, an openness to trying new things. I read books and watched movies I would have pooh-poohed in the past.