It sometimes almost made me sick to go out to meet strangers again and again, but I knew I had to.
And that's how I found real love" Please note that I'm not suggesting you stop trying to meet people online.
After too many rejections, we often decide to hide our truest selves—at least until we've sealed the deal. I'm not advocating that you share your gravest traumas on the first date, simply that you share your authentic, vulnerable self from the very beginning. As long as we lead with an airbrushed version of self we will feel inadequate and insecure. In nature, creatures are endowed with exoskeletons or endoskeletons.
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Watch out for the tendency to devalue a new relationship with someone consistent, kind and accepting.
I call this phenomenon "The Wave", because like a wave, it can slam you off balance, yet in time, it will simply fade away.
The steps I describe in this post and in my book will not only lead you toward real love; they will also enrich your entire life, because they are the skills of true intimacy.
Go Where You're Likely To Find Generous, Giving People Forgive me for starting off with the hardest one of all.
When these attractions let us down, we believe it's because of a lack in us, not because of a fatal flaw embedded in the attractions themselves.
Most of us are wired to want the person we can't really have.
When we embrace who we really are and begin to accept our limitations, we feel we have a spine. When we are ashamed of who we are, there's only one option for protecting ourselves; a brittle armor that keeps the world at a distance.
Your true protection is found in choosing someone who is kind, giving, and accepting of who you are.
To someone who doesn't appreciate you, your true self may be a turnoff.