"I wasn't prepared for the loneliness that accompanied Christmas," she says.
"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman.7.
Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.
Try to have money available—like $5,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.
Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.
"It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme.10. Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn't have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in 2007.
She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take.
"Children feel a sense of responsibility for the breakup no matter how much the parents state it wasn't about them," says marriage and family therapist Lesli M. Watch out for little ones regressing in their behavior—acting younger, wanting to sleep in bed with you—or showing anger toward siblings and peers.
Adolescents tend to act out by drinking, skipping school or disobeying curfews.
Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally.1.
It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.
Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.