New dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel make us log in with Facebook, and they display the mutual friends we share with users on the app, which generates feelings of credibility and trust.
There’s a reason why some of the most popular and effective dating apps today rely heavily upon your mutual friends.
Both online and offline, friends provide instant validation and accountability.
Jessica later introduced me to yet another awesome friend in San Francisco, and once again, her friend and I ended up having amazing chemistry.
Jessica and I met up as friends, without any overt attempts at wooing, courting, or sleeping with one another. She came to understand my background story and my relationship goals and preferences ( talk about these things all the time), and I learned about hers.
Complaining about being “friendzoned” is incredibly harmful to our relationships and can cripple our capacity for both healthy friendships and healthy relationships.
The friendship-first approach is not an isolated theory. Our existing friends have always been our best source of referrals.
Using dating sites to find love is inefficient and prone to failure.
We typically set the stakes too high, and centuries worth of societal tropes and expectations can cripple the authenticity of our interactions.
Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.