He’ll probably let you go and resume his new life on I had a man write me from whose wife had passed 3 weeks earlier – they had a 38 year marriage – and she died from a recently diagnosed cancer!
Talk about rebound………he started to email me and call several times per day and because I am not the “rebound” girl, I slowed things down and poof!
Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long. And if he fails, he risks losing the woman he cares about.
Next, something I know (and have stated repeatedly) about men – of all ages: We do what we want. Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. You can give him an extra-wide berth because he’s newly single, but be forewarned: a man who is newly single (and is keeping a little distance) is probably going to want to get a greater sampling of what’s available instead of diving right back into commitment.
And as a result, I have arrived at a place where I’m comfortable acknowledging that I again need male companionship, that I’m ready for some conversation that doesn’t involve the characters on “Sesame Street.” Having been raised by a single mother, I’m familiar with some of the cardinal dating rules. Don’t introduce him to the children until it is serious. Will I find a man who loves me — stretch marks and all — and who loves my children? I have no plans to put our wedding album or video into storage.
I worry about whether another man will be able to handle that. My son is too young to remember his father, and my daughter has never known what it’s like to have a daddy.
Here is a great article about dating and remarrying.
A widow from New Hampshire had written to Dear Abby about getting married again and how her children don’t want her to.In your book, you said that if a guy isn’t seeing you more than once a week by the 3 months point, he probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship.My question is this – does this apply to widowers as well or is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so I don’t put pressure on him?Most of all, I worry about the impact dating will have on my young children. Would a life of loneliness and sexual frustration make me a more honorable widow? But as I look back on the joy I shared with my husband during our three short years of marriage — the late-night talks, dinner dates in Georgetown, trips to the John F. I gave birth to two beautiful children and am modeling to them hope in the face of adversity. Some lucky man will have the privilege of shaping these young lives.Sometimes I wonder if dating is worth jeopardizing my children’s peace and stability. Kennedy Center, family vacations to the Grand Canyon and Hawaii, long walks on the beach, holding hands, making love on a rainy day, raising children, love — I know it’s a worth the risk. And the right man — a mature man — will be able to look past the stretch marks on my stomach and the wounds on this widow’s heart and see something worth taking a risk for, too.Like many young widows, Janet was overwhelmed by the sudden loss of her husband and the responsibilities she would have to shoulder alone.